Last night was a difficult one; I spent part of the time talking to the nursing staff at my maternal grandmother's nursing home. She has emphysema and COPD and is recieving Hospice care. Last night her temperature was up, her oxygen sat. levels were very low and the staff wanted to know how to respond. They couldn't reach my parents so they called my sister, who then called me in tears. My grandmother's nursing facility is not a fan of Hospice, not comfortable with letting her just pass on with dignity, and seem to want to rush her to the E.R. every time she spikes a fever instead of contacting the Hospice nurses like we have requested they do. I called and reiterated the medical plan and spent the rest of the night talking to Clare, trying to reach my parents, and waiting for the phone to ring (it didn't). We know it is only a matter of time; we've had several close calls already and I think we are all torn between selfishly not wanting to deal with her death, yet hoping for an end to her suffering. Mom just called and said that the nursing staff report that she is comfortable yet not improved, and I am thinking that it's time to make a list of things to accomplish so we are able to pick up and go when needed.

On a more positive note, Kate just makes me laugh. Yesterday she ran up to me and said "I dot da poop, Mommy". She's famous for false reporting, so I took a peek and told her there was nothing there. She then said, "I dot da poop. I sho' do, sho' do, sho' do!" (think elderly, southern, black male accent). I cracked up, so she kept repeating "I sho' do" all afternoon. She also says "I don' won' do dat" (don't want to do that) , "I pill in da fwo'" (I spilled it in the floor), and "I don' likey dat" (self-explanatory).

India has begun to express an interest in learning about gender
roles, particularly the whole marriage and childbearing thing (I think this is scaring Tracy to death. He keeps saying, "I was a teenage boy, and I know how they think!"). She has already selected her spouse, her good friend William. Excellent choice, by the way; that's him in the monkey suit at Halloween. She has decided to have 3 children named Nicole, Joe and William. Thank goodness she chose friend's names...her imaginary friends are named Causalicious and Mackenzie Veranda (Yes, she's strange). She informed me yesterday that "first I will be a Mommy who works, then when the babies come out of my belly I'll stay home". This is a girl with a plan. At least she's not asking about how the babies get in or get out! Unfortunately William has 2 other girls who want to marry him too, so India will have some competition. Lucky William!