Friday, August 24, 2007

That low down man of mine

Mistreats me all the time

He sez he loves me only

Then turns around and
leaves me sad and lonely...

Squirrel Nut Zippers --
"Low Down Man"

Meet William, India's betrothed. Cute, isn't he? India has been insisting that she was going to marry William for half of her life. Okay, she's only 5 so half her life isn't really that long, but she's been consistent in her adoration. So what's the problem? India's got to step in line.

William is a hot commodity; he is also pursued by two other little harlots, ehem, I mean little girls. They have made their marital desires quite plain. Poor William. What's a man to do? The other two girls frequently fight and argue over him. Thank goodness India knows to step out of the fray...she is not a cat fighter. When the claws come out, William advises that he will not marry any female who fights and argues. Good boy.

Since William's mother and I are not fans of prostituting out our children when they are in preschool, we have tried to discourage this talk of marriage. I'm not even sure where it even comes from, since I don't talk to the Short People about boyfriends and the like. I'm blaming it on the Disney Princess marketing machine. Anyway, when I try to steer the conversation away from marriage India tacitly ignores me, but like any good son William has taken his mother's advice to heart. If India brings up the "M" word he sweetly answers her with "I will have to think about that".

Today William came for a play date and as I sat nearby I eavesdropped. I learned that dating is the same at any age. The conversation went like this:

India- "What's your favorite undersea animal?"
William -"Shark"

India "Mine is the turtle. I also like alligators, but they don't live under water. I also like..bla bla bla (this goes on for some time)...what's your next favorite?"

William - Falls out of his seat in a stupor, ears smoking.

I assume this is the equivalent of "what's your sign" or "what's your favorite color". Later the conversation progressed from the "Getting to Know You" stage to what I like to call "The Thrill Is Gone".

William - makes obscene gas sound effect

India - "WILLIAM! What do you say?"

William - "That was funny!"

India - "No, William. You say 'excuse me'!"

Hard to believe these two are 5 and 6. Perhaps India has just crossed to the front of the line. Sounds like they are already married to me!


PI said...

Five? I am so out of date. We have a five year old French grand-daughter coming next week and I had already been told she's very fond of make-up. Cripes! It's going to be interesting.
They look lovely children BTW.
Michele sys hi!

Lorraine said...

That is a very funny post. Lordy.

And hello, Michelle sent me.

Melody said...

That is seriously hilarious!! How gorgeous is your daughter? She'll be having many boyfriends before she gets married! *heehee* And you're right, it does sound like they are already married if you ask me too...

Michele sent me today but I will be back...

November Rain said...

Children are blessings

Don't worry until they are 19 (my son) and talking about getting married to a girl he is in and out of relationship with

or when she is 16 (my daughter) and talks about getting engaged

then it is no longer cute :P

michelle sent me

sophie said...

What a hoot! My twin step daughters are 9--at the moment, boys have cooties, but I think the real trouble starts soon. Yikes!

donna said... funny...
they grow up out!!

visiting today from Michele and she says HI

Tiffany said...

lol. Pretty soon he will have cooties and she will want nothing to do with him for a few years. Your daughter is very pretty, and William is quite the catch as well. I will say a pray that he gets cooties soon :) Michele sent me.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Sounds like a tiff between the two lovebirds!

Michele sent me here.

Anne said...

Michele sent the invitation to these nuptials. Hehe, Neither of my children went through marrying phase, my daughter is 12 now and she hasn't shown any interest in boys yet, thank goodness!

Carmi said...

William sounds like he's building some very effective relationship-management skills at a very early stage in his life. Good boy, indeed!

I remember quite well similar experiences when I was that age. I was always surprised at how aggressive some of the girls were in their pursuit of me. Maybe it was my blue eyes...I never did quite figure out what I did to attract their attention.

Thankfully I married a wonderful woman. And she was much more polite than my preschool pursuers.

I think I should facebook them to see where they ended up :)

Hi again from Michele's. Each entry here is more of a delight.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...I LOVE this! The conversation is hilarious, but your reporting of the entire thing is Priceless! I LOVE the side "lyrics", too..."The Blues"..It says it all, doesn't it?
I can remember being madly in love with a little boy named Jimmy, when I was in first grade, but I do not recall any of our conversations....And you are right, they do sound like they are married already...LOL!
A pleasure to meet you! Thanks for your visit and your comment.

Deana said...

That is hilarious! Yes with his ears smoking from all her chatting it does sound like they are already married! What a cute couple they are....think how sweet your grandbabies will be. Just kidding. In a few years she will be pretending she is a NASA engineer hopefully and will scoff at the word marriage!

BTW I had to tag you in my post today. I needed an A and sorry you were it.

BreadBox said...

I love this story -- we are going through the same thing, although in our case, Boo is set on a marriage to her best friend, M: a girl 9 months her junior...
Funny to listen to them talk, isn't it!